Using Love Languages Will Improve Communication With Your Spouse

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, became a New York Times bestseller and has been translated into 49 languages

by Dr. Gary Chapman

A Review By Tom Kennedy

What is the best way to communicate with your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend?  Use their preferred Love Language.  They will love you for it.

The 5 Love Languages were discovered by Dr. Gary Chapman during his years as a Christian counselor.  He found that people had a preference in how love was communicated to them.  Some people preferred receiving words of encouragement.  Others preferred spending quality time together, receiving gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.  He found that a person who communicated to their spouse in the spouse’s preferred Love Language received the greatest positive reaction.

Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, became a New York Times bestseller and has been translated into 49 languages.   It has helped countless couples understand that if you want to express love best, do it in the Love Language that the other person most desires to receive.

An example of this occurred with one of my graduate students.  Her Love Language was physical touch.  When her husband had a heart attack, she spent extra effort hugging and touching him to show him her support and love.  A few months later she asked him about his memory of her hugs.  He didn’t understand the hugs were an extra expression of her love.  In fact, he didn’t remember too much about the hugs at all.  He had a different Love Language.  If she had expressed her love in his Love Language, he would have noticed her efforts more.

Note: The book is not a complete understanding of how to communicate with your spouse.  It is just a critical beginning.

For learning some of the basic communication skills, I consider this book essential reading for couples.  Applying the basic Love Languages will help, but it is not a complete fix.  Chapman points out there are many “dialects” of a Love Language.  He unpacks these dialects in his book.

On the back of the book one can find a link to a website where a couple can take the Love Languages test to determine their top 1 or 2 Love Languages.

I strongly suggest this book be a part of a couple’s communication life.  Nothing is more important than learning and implementing your partner’s favorite Love Language.  This book should also be used in churches for marrieds as a part of marital enrichment classes, as well as in pre-marital programs.

Communication is not very difficult, if you know how your partner wants to receive it.

Click on the picture of the Love Languages book to order it through Amazon.

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